Happy almost Mother's Day!
During those early days and months, it can sometimes feel like your baby is all over you, all the time. It's understandable to feel like you really need a break (you do).
But a weird thing about motherhood is how hard it can be to get the kid-dose right - I remember when my son was a baby or toddler how some days I'd wait restlessly all morning for his nap, wanting some freedom, but when he was finally asleep, ironically, find myself at loose ends, missing him. It was so strange. I'd stumble around uselessly, then eventually find something of my own to do, begin to get excited about that, only to hear him stirring, and start the cycle again. We talk about separation anxiety as though it's only something that happens to babies, but I think that the give and take of how much closeness feels right is very much a two way street between a grown woman and her child.
Recently, I was asked to contribute an essay on motherhood for wfuv.org's special Mother's Day broadcast of Cityscape. I shared a story about me and my son navigating the distance between us, and it's live here this morning (mine begins at minute 21; the other three essays are terrific, too). It's an emotional weekend for me; here I am reading aloud about something that happened when he was a preschooler, and later today, in real life, he'll become bar mitzvah -- a young man, according to our religious tradition. Then tomorrow, we'll celebrate my mother and my mother in law, and my sister and me, hopefully with a lot of chocolate.