They fuck you up, your mum and dad. They may not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had And add some extra, just for you. But they were fucked up in their turn By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern And half at one another's throats. Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don't have any kids yourself.
The Onion is parody, of course, but actually, when you think about it? Given that your kids are going to end up in therapy complaining about you :-), you may as well enjoy the parts of parenting that are fun and not feel too guilty about the other crap, or overly invested in one philosophy.